Source: Courtesy of Tod-Hunter.net
By: Tod Hunter
I didn’t get there [Porn Star Karaoke] till 11:30, and the place was jumping. The line stretched back to the doughnut place and the smoking lounge by the ATMs was busy as well. While I’m chatting with Seymour, Megan from Shane’s World comes up to say hi. The more I see her, the less she looks like that woman from Two and a Half Men. She’s shooting and learning video editing… Roy Karch tells me that he’s staring a new high-end vignette series for Adam & Eve. He’s looking for "real female ejaculators" (his emphasis) and if you qualify e-mail him at RoyKarch@PacBell.net and tell him Tod sent you… Johnny Buss and I do the haven’t-seen-you-in-a-while bit. We don’t remember where we saw each other last… Wankus, sweaty, says I just missed Milli Vanilla’s first set. Dammit…I walk in, past the line (it’s good to be a regular), see Nicki Hunter posing with fans in the foyer. Ron Jeremy is ringside.
George Kaplan (Aka Fozzi) is sitting on the wall by the J-shaped booth, nursing a glass of red wine. When I sit down, he introduces me to Angie, a pretty blonde in the adjacent U-shaped booth…. Kaplan points out a table near the front filled with young trendy-looking women: "This table over here looks like the cast of the L Word."… April Storm… Mofo from MofoWear (MofoWear.net), carrying an armful of T-shirts… Konnie from DVSX… Wankus is in a glittery pink shirt tonight, neatly coordinating with Kristin’s pink halter… I nod at a semi-familiar-looking blonde, who scoots over and introduces herself. Tammi, who I find is a stripper in from New York. Making conversation, I ask her if she does videos. She tells me she almost did, but when she met a guy who said "I look forward to fucking you" she decided against it…
A woman walks by who looks like Adella from Digital Playground, but she isn’t… Rebecca Love… Fozzi gets up to sing, introduced by Wankus with a cheery "It’s not his fault if they can’t act. He writes good words for them." Fozzi turns in a pretty-good you Make Me Feel So Young. When he gets back, he asks me "Was I adequate?" I respond "Yes" and he snorts some red wine back into his glass… There’s a guy here damn near every week who looks like Dennis Hof. Tonight he’s wearing a Moonlite Bunny Ranch shirt. Nice touch… Ashley Blue… Fozzi takes Angie to the dance floor, does a waltz with her, even dips her at one point. She has wings tattooed on her shoulder blades. Angie. I get it… Ron Jeremy autographs a boob… Konnie takes us into the ’70s with Boogie Oogie Oogie… There’s a porn giveaway. "Coals to Newcastle" Fozzi says, but there are a lot of non-pros here and they all want a free porn DVD. Sometimes we forget that these things cost $20 or more in the Real World… Seymour is wearing a pendant with a naked woman. If the nudity of the little pendant doesn’t get your attention, her nipples, flashing bright red lights, might…. People wave lighters in the air as a guy sings Purple Rain…
At midnight ,Wankus sings tonight’s variation on Wind Beneath My Wings to Katrina Kraven, and just to show that he does actually improvise it, he gets people to name their first girlfriend (Jill), original home town (Calgary), and something they have in their garage (dead body, the guy said) and weaves them into the song… Next time I wanna see him pick up a handkerchief with his teeth… Just kidding… Kurt Lockwood… Nicole from Shane’s World is here. She’s happy that College Invasion 6 is coming out soon. I’m happy that she’s sending me a copy… Nicole takes the mic, and sings No Doubt’s Just a Girl… Kristin offers a MofoWear T-shirt to the crowd, then surprisedly says "I just saw boobies." Give her the shirt, Kristin, she needs it… A table empties, leaving behind a carton of chocolate milk. Looks discordant here in a bar… April does a song, and Wankus stretches up her arm and does his boob-as-guitar bit with her. For some reason, he never gets tired of it… At 12:30, the now-traditional Cell Block Tango from Chicago, and at 1:00 Milli Vanilla do a reprise of their act for the night… As the crowd disperses, I see Jay Moyes and we chat about various and sundry things as the lights come up and the few remaining patrons are chased out. On the way out I see a shiny business card, left behind on a table. It says "Dennis Hof." it really was him. I smack myself in the forehead as I exit into the early-morning night.
Sardo’s Bar (SardosBar.com/) is at 259 N. Pass Avenue in Burbank, a convenient 15-minute drive from my place. PSK is on Tuesdays, starting about 9 pm, I hear.
