Myles’ Weekend Adventures: 18th Anniversary Column, Michelle Lynn, Carmen Valentina

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Myles Shaffer
Myles Shaffer

MWA 09/16/2022 Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. Yes, good people, this will be my 18th Anniversary Column. My editor-in-chief, the illustrious Steve Nelson, published the first column I ever wrote for him on August 18, 2004!

Moving right along, I’ll say that this article will be about two lovely feature entertainers both of whom were well worth the drives to see and spend time with them. So, people, why not read on and learn the details?

Michelle Lynn

Friday night, August 19, involved a drive down to Expose Gentlemen’s Club, in San Diego, to spend a little time with the very sexy Michelle Lynn and to observe the first two of her three shows of the evening. (I would have stayed for all three of her shows, but I had an 8:30 eye doctor appointment the next morning. So, I needed to get home and get what sleep I could.)

For her first performance, Michelle did her Mario Brothers show. She wore a red cap with a round white spot on the front. Within the white area was a red capital M. Next, she wore a red jacket. With the jacket, Michelle wore a blue mini skirt with red trim around the bottom hem. The skirt also had shoulder straps. Beneath her jacket, Michelle wore a red bra that was practically covered with multi-colored LED lights. The bra also had a neck strap. Under her mini skirt, Michelle wore a pair of red G-string-like thong panties. Michelle’s footwear for this show was non-existent. That’s right. She performed the entire show from start to finish with bare feet.

Early on during this show, Michelle played with a red and white ball.

Michelle ended this performance with a game of cooterball for prizes.

Michelle preformed this show to, “Mario Brothers Theme,” by Ultragamemusic, “Rolex (Steve Aoki Remix),” by Ayo & Two, “Rage the Night Away,” by Steve Aoki featuring Waka Flocka Flame, and, “Mvrio Kvrt,” by Aylen.

For her second show of the evening, Michelle wore a yellow headband. She also wore a long-sleeved gold top with fluffy black material around her wrists. With her top, she wore a pair of gold pants with some more fluffy black material around her ankles. Under her top, Michelle wore a bra with gold breast cups and black straps. And beneath her pants, she wore a pair of black G-string-like thong panties. Michelle once again performed with her bare feet.

For this performance, Michelle danced to, “Staying Alive,” by the Bee Gees, “Mix Of 2012,” by DJ Wilson Tas, “Duoc Mus Duoc Gia (Remix),” by Ngoc Son, and, “Lovegame (Chew Fu Ghettohouse),” by Lady Gaga featuring Marilyn Manson.

Michelle’s hair is black, and her eyes are brown.  She is an even five feet tall and weighs one hundred fifteen pounds.  And, her great looking body measures 32DD-26-30 at the least.  (The first time I met Michelle, she didn’t really know exactly what her hip measurement was, so she and I decided that her hips were at least thirty inches and no more than thirty-two inches. [Unfortunately, I didn’t think to ask whether or not she might have determined the exact measurement of her hips on this night or during the ED Expo earlier in the week.])

While Michelle hasn’t been featuring nearly so long as a lot of other features have, she still performs on stage so well as a great number of the feature entertainers I have observed over the years.

Michelle is intelligent, charming, and quite friendly.  She is also very well spoken and has an excellent sense of humor.

Therefore, anybody who should get an opportunity to go out to a club to see Michelle perform and to meet her in person should not allow said opportunity to slip away from them. I do believe that they would thoroughly enjoy the experience.

Michelle does not have an official website of her own; although, she can be found on Facebook.com and Instagram.com.

Carmen Valentina

Saturday, August 20, it was a drive up to Bakerfield to check into a hotel and then go to the Deja Vu Showgirls to say hello and spend some time with Carmen Valentina.

For her first performance of the evening, Carmen wore a pink costume. First of all, Carmen wore a pair of above elbow-length gloves. She next wore a short negligee with artificial fur on the breast cups and around the bottom hem. Beneath her negligee, Carmen wore a pair of thong panties. Her footwear was a pair of high-heeled sandal-like shoes with ankle straps and artificial fur over her toes.

During this show, Carmen did some rides for $5. At one point in the show, she fired a confetti cannon into the air. To end this performance, Carmen gave away one of her DVDs to one lucky customer.

Carmen performed this show to, “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’,” by Nancy Sinatra, “I Touch Myself,” by Divinyls, “Pu$$Y,” by Nezexous, Orhanyigit & Ahmvttuna, “Put It In Your Mouth,” by Akinyele, and, “Money,” by Cardi B.

For her final performance on this last night of her current booking, Carmen came onto the stage carrying a laser saber and wearing a Princess Leia Organa wig and a white gown. Under her gown, she wore a blue bra and a brown loincloth. Beneath the loincloth, Carmen wore a pair of flesh-colored G-string-like thong panties. For footwear, she wore a pair of clear shoes with clear straps over her toes. The shoes also had stiletto heels.

During this show, Carmen fired off a large dildo shaped confetti cannon. Near the end of the show, Carmen allowed a good number of customers and some house dancers to rub lotion onto various areas of her gorgeous body and then stick money onto her. (I personally took so long as I dared to apply lotion to my friend’s lower back and beautiful buns. [Never mind how much money I stuck to her but rest assured that it would have been a lot more were I a rich man!])

During this show, Carmen performed to, “Star Wars Theme,” by John Williams, “I’m A Slave 4 U,” by Britney Spears, “Kream,” by Iggy Azalea featuring Tgra, “Everywhere,” by Chloe X Halle, “Rake It Up,” by Yo Gotti featuring Nicki Minaj, and, “China Town,” by Migos.

Camen comes complete with blonde hair and hazel eyes. She stands an even five feet tall and weighs in at one hundred twenty pounds. And her lovely body measures 34B-27-40.

Carmen is an intelligent woman, and she is very friendly. She is also well spoken and a very good conversationalist. Carmen can engage in an intelligent conversation with anybody that can hold up their end of said conversation. As if that were not enough, Carmen truly enjoys meeting and speaking with her fans.

It is highly recommended that anybody who might get an opportunity to make a trip to a club to observe one or more of Carmen’s performances and to meet her in person should take full advantage of said opportunity! I doubt that anyone would not find the experience enjoyable and memorable.

Carmen can be found at carmenvalentina.com She is also on Facebook.com and a good number of other websites.

Okay folks, that’s a wrap for now. We should all return here the next time and continue to discuss fun events and gorgeous women! Until then, everybody please take care, stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer