The Goddess Lives

I began attending a few Neopagan quarterly festivals and gatherings after being a solitary practitioner since my youth. This was a most difficult task because it required opening certain facts of my personal life to members, which I was closely guarding.

One of those secrets was that my lifetime partner, Tom, wasn’t practicing a Magickal tradition but was in actuality a skeptic and thirty years my age. We shared a fantastic relationship in which I was a form of ‘sorceress’ and he was a willing bewitched financial slave. Our arrangement contrasted the majority of the temple in which couples paired based on Magickal compatibility and were equal partners in the same age group. As you can see, they appeared as children in our eyes and even after many years of involvement I kept myself distant and guarded.

Furthermore, I was the only Neopagan celebrant in the adult industry and I constantly met the disapproving glances of many members, coupled with whispering and gossiping in groups gathered after the festival. Very few people befriended me and opened their hearts to me. The Goddess, which I thought would bring us together, seemed lifeless and unable to withstand the bigotry, racism and misogyny of the members.

My prayer to the statue of the Goddess was that she would cease being a lifeless doll… “Descend from Heaven, Inanna, and let your presence be felt in the rivers of the abode, through the streams and trees, and in all of nature. Descend on the peoples and fill with Love, Grace, Laughter and Spirit each and every one present in this room. Live Within Us!” I silently waited many months afterward for her approach.