Typecasting Farrah Abraham

Apparently James Deen’s size is not impressive, at least according to Farrah Abraham, the “Backdoor Mom” who recently connected with him up close and personal. Maybe his honesty in refusing to participate in the hokum of a “date” that turned into a porn shoot is equally unimpressive to her. Farrah’s crocodile tears and indignity over Deen’s revelation that they did the deed for profit is pretty hard to swallow. (This writer hasn’t seen the tape so he doesn’t know if she swallowed either. Unlikely, there’s probably a pop shot in there someplace.)

Pocketing an impressive million or so from Vivid in return for a supposed “private collection” tape is quickly the envy of the industry. There are hardworking girls out there who’d relish a good slamming from Deen for a payday like that, even if his size is not up to the former MTV teen mom’s expectations.

Putting all of that aside, it’s time someone welcomes Farrah into the industry. After a bit of surgery here and there, she looks terrific. Her transition from teenager to sexy adult rivals that of once child star Miley Cyrus, who now flaunts a titillation that borders on the slutty, but doesn’t spread her legs for the camera.

In fact, Farrah can take a few lessons from her porn co-star. James Deen knows how to work both sides of the Hollywood sign, stepping from the Valley into the mainstream with a casual class that is genuine. He’s a heartthrob her snooty image can’t touch, despite her publicity coup at this point.

Right now, Farrah sits on the fence (in a cowgirl, no doubt) that divides her identities. Where is the next big payday? If a James Deen pounding pays handsomely, a couple of years in the industry could really inflate her bank account. By the way, porn’s major studios can provide over-the-top gonzo shoots in which size is not a problem. Might be a little physically taxing but the backdoor sweetie won’t be disappointed with the penetrations, regardless of which side of the house she prefers.

Opportunities abound in the adult business. With a child in arms already, Farrah’s perfect for MILF work. Whatever fetishes she has can also be accommodated. San Francisco’s Kink.com can tie up some of her time, plus they’ll do her make-up.

But this writer suspects all of that isn’t going to happen. Farrah Abraham will try to parlay her “fame” with James Deen into an affront she must endure while she searches for other ways to reinvent herself. Traci Lords, where are you?

In the meantime, Farrah, let’s not kick around James Deen. He’s a good guy and you got what you wanted. But remember never close the door on any possibility. You just might meet him again on the set someday.

But, then again, we don’t want to typecast you.